Introduction:

• The startup dream: stock options, cutting-edge tech, and… 10 rounds of interviews?
• What I thought startup interviews would be like vs. what actually happened.

Stage 1: The Recruiter Call – Hope vs. Reality:

• Recruiter: “We love your profile!”
• Me: “Oh wow, thanks!”
• Recruiter: “One sec, let me just… find it… uh, what was your name again?”
• “Tell me about yourself!” (Me: Which version? The normal one, the ‘LinkedIn-friendly’ one, or the one that perfectly aligns with your JD?)
• “What are your salary expectations?” (Me: “What are yours?” 😏)

Stage 2: The DSA Gauntlet – A Test of Strength (and Patience)

• Leetcode Medium: “Okay, fair.”
• Leetcode Hard: “Why do you hate me? Isnt this a front-end role?” : briefly considered faking an internet outage.
• System Design Round:
  • Interviewer: “Explain how you’d build a scalable notification service.”
  • Me: “Uhh… Firebase?”
  • Interviewer: Silence. Slow head tilt.
  • Me: Sweating “Or… Kafka? Distributed message queues? Magic?”

Stage 3: The Live Coding Round – AKA ‘Fight or Flight’

• “You have 30 minutes to code a full-stack app.”
• “You cannot use Google.”
• “You cannot breathe too loudly.”
• Writes code that runs on the first try → “Hmm, this is too simple. Can you optimize?”
• Writes slightly optimized code → “Hmm, overcomplicated. Should’ve kept it simple.”

Stage 4: The Culture Fit Round – Where Lies Are Born

• “Why do you want to join us?” → (Real answer: “Because you’re hiring, and my landlord doesn’t accept ‘passion for coding’ as rent.”)
• “What are your weaknesses?” → (Me: “Sometimes I care too much… about not working after 8 PM.”)
• “We believe in a flexible work culture. Would you be open to occasional weekend work?” → (Me: “Of course! Nothing excites me more than spending my Saturday fixing a bug introduced by someone who already quit.” dead inside smile)

Stage 5: The Offer (or The Ghosting)

• The dreaded “We’ll get back to you.”
• If you hear “We’re still evaluating other candidates,” congrats, you’re out.
• If you survive: “We’re excited to have you! Here’s an offer that matches your current salary!”
• The negotiation battle: “Can you match my expectations?” vs. “Can you match our budget?”

Conclusion: Lessons Learned

• Always ask for a clear hiring timeline.
• Practice explaining your projects like you’re pitching to a goldfish.
• No matter what the JD says, you will be asked DSA questions.
• No matter how well you do, HR will always say ‘We’ll get back to you.’
• And finally…
  • when in doubt… just say ‘It depends on the use case.’
  • If all else fails, fake a power cut.